Nov 11, 2013 - letter to Mom

Hey Mom!

     I didn't even realize or remember that your anniversary was this Friday. This is a testament to how bad my memory is. Well Happy Anniversary! I know it will be a little different that you will spend it at the Dailey's home instead. But I think really one day won't make a difference. Enjoy your anniversary and talking with Elder Dailey.

     I know I keep trying to do what I can. We had interviews this past week with President Blickenstaff, and I expressed to him the worries I am having and that I feel a lot of doubts that I am doing my best and such but that nothing is happening right now. President Blickenstaff told me I do not need to be placing all the mission's worries on my shoulders and doing that to myself. He told me that it is a progression and that right now there might not seem like any success, but over the course of the mission I will see the results and reasons from being in Fengshan. To be honest the other hard part sometimes as I really try to do my best, is that I feel at times I don't do my best or can't because of being with a different companion. To best describe switching companions is like trying to jump from a bullet train to a steam locomotive. Both moving forward but at different speeds. With my first companion here, I was very much accustomed to being very strict and disciplined with the time and such. But my current companion is a much more relaxed and slower paced missionary. I guess best way to describe it is that he isn't as studious about the time and such. He moves at a slower pace. So sometimes it's been hard for me and I try to say and make sure we get going at times and that we use our time effectively. But sometimes it is really hard because it feels like I have to do it all the time. It feels if I let up really at all that it just slips back into a very much slower pace and lax way. I know I must not run faster or go faster than my companion is capable (being considerate of my companion's needs and not dragging him along behind me) but sometimes I feel like I know and am capable of giving or being that much more diligent, but then my companion, because of his nature, is a little slower and not up to that speed. I don't know, have any advice or such?

     Yeah I can't wait for the holidays and the time approaching for our first Skype call! I honestly don't really even know what I will say or want to say.

     Cool cool about the package, something to look forward to over the next few weeks. I have two exchanges I will be doing this week (I actually had an exchange last week with our district leader and another missionary. They came down to Fengshan. It was a lot of fun). Tomorrow my companion will go up to Yuanshan and be with the district leader this time and the district leader's comp will come down to Fengshan and be with me. Yay! MTC companions back together again. It will be good to see him again. Then on Friday we are exchanging with the Zone Leaders. My comp will go to San Min and I will stay here in Fengshan for the exchange.

I love you lots!

Elder Roo

Nov 4, 2013 - letter to Dad

Hey Dad!

     You are correct that it has now been one week with my new companion. He knows a little English. And I mean little in the way that he knows some words, but really has a hard time being able to speak English. So no joke most of the time I speak in Chinese. So everyone says my Chinese is going to fly now. But so yes I am trying to savor and relish every moment I have being with a native companion. I have asked him to teach me BPM so I can know how to type Chinese characters (especially helpful with the dictionary we have on our phone). So switching companions has felt a little like jumping from one train to another train moving at a bit different speeds. My problem is that often times I am a conformist, that I conform myself more easily to fit with others rather than being loud and boisterous saying this is my will and this is how it is done. Probably why I am a blue and white rather than a red and/or yellow (the color scheme from psychology). I often times am that shy, quiet person who much rather will please and fit in with others rather than be loud and demand my own will and pleasures. Although when things get uncomfortable or really not ok with me I speak up. But I am super nervous about doing it because I don't want to upset or make people mad, or have feelings of hatred towards me. But we are doing much better. Still not getting to bed at 10:30 which needs improving, but it's getting better. Usually try to make sure we are at least on the beds by 10:30 though. I am not going to lie though, there have been several times this past week where I have felt like senior companion because I know the area, I have been leading planning, getting us to places, setting up lessons, calling people, and such. So this past week there has been a lot more responsibility on my shoulders.

     Thanks for having the Teacher's Quorum send letters. I am sure our new convert will really appreciate that. We got him a white shirt this past week as well as I gave him Elder Dailey's note and tie. He looked good at church yesterday in a shirt and tie.

     So yes there are a few things on my mind that I will try to type as fast as I can. First is I got your letter this past week. I really appreciate and enjoy reading it. I think I have a big problem sometimes with self-confidence and doubting myself. A lot of times it is with missionary work, that I get thoughts and feelings that doubt myself and feel that I am not worthy of the praise that you say and tell me (I am not the only missionary, literally every missionary I think feels this. Both my last and current companion have said they feel the same way). I really want to make you proud and Heavenly Father proud. Sometimes I don't feel like I am anywhere near that potential.

     I feel like I am really trying hard in finding contacts here in Fengshan. I carry around a dead stack with me that I am trying to call through to find people that are willing and ready to hear the gospel. It's just been so hard with finding. Our numbers are low. We only really have 1 progressing investigator right now. So I am really working hard to find new investigators and I have faith that we can find them. But then today I read Cody's email and on move day he went with 3 other missionaries in Cuarnevaca and handed out 72 Book of Mormons in 3 hours with several people set up to meet and learn more. I don't even know if that is something possible that can happen here. I just feel like I am trying hard and working as best as I can, doing what I know is right which is missionary work, the Lord's work, but just not really having much of any people who will set up with us or who want to learn more or who are prepared and ready. I mean I know I am not suppose to compare myself with other missionaries. I guess I just have lack of self-confidence and doubt myself. I just need to know that I am doing what is right and that I am doing the Lord's work and am doing my best (I feel like I am).

I love you lots and miss you so much and can't wait until the time to meet again but I love it here too!

Elder Dayley

p.s. I really hate the wanka's here where we email. Basically just think of a place that sucks peoples souls in and wastes there time away (not just young kids but older men as well. It's really sad and kind of pathetic too). But right at 2 hours they shut your computer off. I was just typing my name, Elder Dayley, and going to send and my computer shut off. So I had to go spend another 50 cents (15 kuai) to add another hour on so I can say this and send your email. But yeah I love you so much and I miss you everyday, but I am content and fixed and can do the Lord's work with all my attention.

Nov 4, 2013 - letter to Mom

Hey Mom!

So first off to that's awesome about getting a good grade on your test. I know it is frustrating when you get an answer and there is one that is almost it or the other choice is none of the above. I have personally had that happen multiple times. It is super annoying.... But yeah I often include you and Dad in my prayers as well as I think every fast since I have been here I include you and Dad in my prayer that Dad will be able to do his work well and that your school studies well and that the both of you can balance your lives and find time for each other, the dogs, for your own physical well being, and such. I really do care and miss you a lot.

Poor Rusty... :( all cold and shivering. Non of the weiner dogs here have to worry about a sweater. It's still just as hot and everything. Ughhhhh! Oh well I think I am fairly well used to how hot it is here all the time.

So for Halloween, yeah I got the joke. I did take Jazz Band and everything. So I am familiar with the song Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend. Literally it didn't even feel one bit like Halloween here. Large part of it is that it is super small here. So very different compared to the US. The other part is that really as a missionary it doesn't feel like any day is special (except P-Day :) ). I think I remember right that Thursday night Elder Chen and I went tracting as well as calling through our APR (basically has our investigators numbers as well as potential investigators that we can call and try to set up times with). Then afterwards we met up with the EQP to go visit first a member who is at a PVS place (Persistant Vegitative State, he is 17 years old and got in a scooter accident, his head no joke looks like there is a second skull coming off of his normal skull. Also while we were there there was an earthquake (my first one!). It was a small one though) and afterwards went to try a visit LAs. So that was my Halloween.

Honestly I enjoy reading your letter. Don't worry or fret that you don't write like Dad. Each person is different. I like everything. 

Thanks for expressing and telling me I am a good missionary. I will probably say more in Dad's email as well as Elder Dailey may have expressed some to Dad, but I just need to have more self-confidence and not doubt myself.

I love you lots and miss you a ton!

Elder Dayley