Dec 2, 2013 - letter to Dad

Hey Dad!

      So I will try to say as much as I can with so little amount of time I have. Because I have many, many things I want to say, need to say, and ought to say.

      First is I felt bad throughout the week because of last weeks letter. It simply was all just about me complaining. I am sorry. I was praying throughout the whole week that you or Mom wouldn't worry or such over me. But it is weird is that really this week was much better. Really the Lord blesses me so much, and I am so ungrateful in so many ways. I wish I could be a better son and a better man. Truly I am ungrateful for what the Lord does for me. And then the Lord turns around and blesses me more.

So I would not say that my companionship with Elder Chen is that we hate each other or have discontent. What it is (and part of it feels hard to describe) is that very much we have different characters of one that has great desire to be obedient, and one who struggles more with time management but has a greater abounding love and understanding. So we are open with talking with each other and truly I love Elder Chen. He has taught me many things that I couldn't learn anywhere else and have really excelled my friendliness towards complete strangers and willing to open my mouth while he says he has learned a lot throughout this move call.

     But yeah it was weird. Sunday night came and that is when we had the whole explosion (that night Elder Chen in his planner drew a picture of a volcano). After we had returned home, things settled down and we went about planning the next day. Then Elder Barson called and asked if we would like to go to Fo Guang Shan with him and Elder Turner the next day. I think this literally helped me personally so much and as well as our companionship in starting the week off. It was just very peaceful and relaxing to go out and see some of Taiwan's wonders and as well as learn a little more about the Taiwanese people and Buddhism.

     Miraculously and truly the Lord blessed me and Elder Chen as well so much. That night we worked hard together in being diligent and doing the best we could. Tuesday followed and we tried working our best again (granted some nights we need to make more thorough and specific plans or making sure we have back up plans so as to have really good days) and it felt like a good day.

     However, at Tuesday night I got a little stress as Elder Magnuson (yes the one from my first district) called us and said that him and his Trainee were having to move out Wednesday night of their apartment to a new apartment. So quick background is that at the start of this move call we split the beginning English class into two and I was teaching the younger age beginning class (around maybe 6 or 7 people). But so Elder Magnuson told me that they won't be their at English (he is our English Leader) so he was going to have Sister Smith and Sister Ward teach the advanced class (their class) and have me and Elder Chen teach the two beginning classes together (so a total of about 16 or 17 students). Granted this gave me a bit of stress as I was used to teaching the smaller class at this point as well as I had already prepared my lesson for a SMALLER class. So the next morning (Wednesday) I had to spend my time preparing again for English. Needless to say truly the Lord blessed me because the class went really well (Elder Chen as well as Gao Rei said it was really good). So that made me feel good at the end of the day.

     Thursday came and this day we had to do weekly planning. So we left the door at 2 rushing to go eat lunch since we had lessons at 3 and 4. However, while eating both lessons called and canceled (huge bummer :( ). So we sat their thinking for a bit and decided to go visit formers that we have accumulated from trying to call but their numbers are useless now but still have an address. So first we stopped back in our apartment because it was really cold outside (we had a cold front come through) and grabbed jackets as well as one of the formers lives in our apartment complex. So we visited them first. We asked the security guard person at the front desk to try calling their home for us, but no one answered. So we tried knocking on their door, and still no one answered. So sadly we moved on to go visit the next one.

     This next former had met with missionaries 3 years before and was now about 20. He also lives in an apartment complex. We arrived and had the security guard call the home, but no one answered. Graciously enough, when we asked, the security guard was nice enough to let us in and go knock on their door (sometimes they are mean and won't let us in :( ). So we go to the door and knock. An older gentleman answers and we find out it is the former's dad. He is very kind though and lets us come in. We go in and sit down on the couch and the first thing I see is sitting on the table in front of the couches is a cage. And in the cage is a.......... squirrel! No really, a squirrel. Of course Elder Chen does more of the talking about the squirrel (because come on, I am only here in Taiwan for 4 months, I am not going to know how to say anything about a squirrel). But so this guy has a pet squirrel. After introducing for a little bit and settling in, the man then lets the squirrel out. So this squirrel is just having the time of its life running everywhere (the man as well has a ladder set up so that often times the squirrel will go there to poop, which is easy clean up since nobody has carpet here. It is all tile). So at first as Elder Chen and I are talking with this man and getting to know him we keep trying to touch the squirrel, but it keeps running away. But as we start focusing more and teaching this old gentleman about our Church, Heavenly Father, and prayer the squirrel then runs over us. As we drew our focus away from the squirrel to the man, the squirrel would then get close to us and run on us. So I had a squirrel in this lesson that was jumping onto my thighs and onto my shoulders, and even at one point because I was wearing my rain jacket the squirrel jumped onto my shoulder and was really curious about one of the plastic tighten fasteners. So he sat there trying to chew on it and I noticed and so put my hand up to pet him as well as get him to stop, but he didn't stop until after like 10 seconds. So yeah we taught this man and he was very friendly, open, nice, and he set up to meet again tonight (which is confirmed and still ok to meet tonight).

     Then Friday came and this was the day for the two Gao Xiong Zones to meet for the mission tour. Yes a mission tour. Elder Funk of the Seventy and his wife came and visited our mission (he talked in Priesthood Session about the boy who served in India and they were the mission president and wife, talking a lot about becoming humble, obedience, and receiving spiritual strength). It was really good and learned more about how to really work with the ward and to know them, not be a stupid or inconsiderate missionary. Afterwards Elder Chen had an interview with President Blickenstaff which I feel really helped for both of them so that they know each other more and President Blickenstaff can help Elder Chen more. As well since President Blickenstaff had time, I sat down and talked with him for a little bit about my own feelings and such. He really helped me so much and helped in teaching me much more. First, he talked about that having a native companion as a second companion is one of the hardest things (as well as P. Blickenstaff had a native companion as his second whose English was not very good at all, like Elder Chen or even worse, so I don't know what that entails for me in the future.....). He also talked about how to strive to use your time effectively even when companions aren't maybe using time as best as they can. He talked about how he doesn't hold anyone disobedient or bad if their companion is the one not being obedient. He also talked about always, always, always try to never get frustrated or angry. So one of the things I am working and striving towards is greater patience with myself, Elder Chen and having greater love. He also mentioned that sometimes we are called to certain places or with certain companions mainly because of that companion. He said that if all that I do in a move call is help that companion be that much more obedient, or have a greater testimony or understanding of doctrines or principles, then that is a success.

      Saturday was great as we had Ward Correlation and our Ward Mission Leader is amazing. They have such a great family. But they had left overs from their Thanksgiving and gave us as well as the Sister missionaries rolls and mashed potatoes and gravy (and these were good mashed potatoes and gravy. Even better than the MTC).

     Well so this is some of the doings of my week and that truly the Lord has blessed me so much when I have been so ungrateful and complaining. Granted I feel that definitely being with Elder Chen is to grow my patience like none other because there times where things he does causes me to stress more and make my patience thin. But I really feel that it is teaching to be better and as P. Blickenstaff said to strive to never get frustrated and have love and think of how I can help Elder Chen, because quite possibly that is all that the Lord has planned for me with this move call is to help Elder Chen improve and be better and love himself.

     Also I am taking a wild guess (yes I received my package this last week and it is all great. The chocolates are wonderful) that the two lieutenant clone troopers LEGOs are from a bigger box at home with bigger LEGOs. Dui4 bu2 dui4 (correct?)?

I love you lots and miss you lots and always think of the wonderful memories and good times being with you, with mom, with the family. Keep on keeping on! Cool cool!

     Elder Roo

Dec 2, 2013 - letter to Mom

Hey Mom!

     Yes, yes I will be working on keeping my eyes out for some cool unique snoopy thing over here.

Sounds like you had a good dinner still. Yes it is sad that neither Allisa nor I were not there for Thanksgiving. Man Man Lai, or slowly come. It is weird to think but I have been away from home now 6 months. That is already 1/4 of my mission! Wah!!! Where does the time go?

     I honestly don't know though if I would be an expert carver. Nothing like Dad for sure. He is a pro.

     I am sure if you were to see me there would be many things that would surprise you. Really!!!!!! Like there was one time Elder Dailey and I went to a resteraunt (still can never spell that word). We ate their once before with our Recent Convert (RC). But this time it was just us (it is Korean style). But so I remember what I ordered the previous time and thought that was good. But as I was looking at the menu I couldn't between two which was the right one (because it is all in Chinese Characters). So I picked one that I thought it was right. Turns out it wasn't. They came out with this big bowl that included noodles, soup, hundreds of small little minos (those little tiny fish), muscles, two shrimp (and they are the whole shrimp, head, legs, and everything), and as well as some little tiny octopus about the size of a golf ball). I just sat there for a minute and was staring at it and contemplating in my head "crap, this is not what I had last time, but I don't want to leave food sitting here, so........". And so I just jumped in and started eating it. Needless to say I ate at least 2/3 to 3/4 of it. Elder Dailey was totally surprised that I starting eating it and ate so much of it. After I ate as much as I could feel like without feeling embarrassed of leaving uneaten food I said "Dad, can I go get a candy bar now?" (p.s. Trainers and Trainees have the joke of Dad and Son). And that is just what we did. I went and bought a Twix as well as a bag of Mint Crispy M&Ms (I think I forgot to tell you that yeah they have Mint Crispy M&Ms here. Sweet!!!!).

But so yes this week was much better.

Love you lots!

Elder Roo

Nov 25, 2013 - letter to Dad

Hey Dad,

     Well I will try to convey and share everything as best I can and also try to share more missionary/spiritual experiences (I know I am not good, I was thinking about that over the past few days, I really do try to share things, but then I also have lots of things on my mind).

     So first thank you for what you shared about Elders Quorum, Heavenly Father always nearby, and the analogy with Marty. I know Heavenly Father is there and will always be there.

     Definitely this past week has been one of the hardest by far. I have turned to Heavenly Father many times and pleaded in prayer, but I still don't understand everything that He wants me to learn right now. This past week I just spiraled and built into much much more stress. It seems always that we have a hard time getting planning done in half an hour at night which then causes us to lead into eating up time to relax, wind down, and get ready for bed. So then often times I am never in bed at 10:30. I also don't get time sometimes to do all I want at night that I would like to (like flossing or doing some core exercises).  So Wednesday was just a hard and really down day. Thursday started out a bit the same with the same feelings and just feeling down and not having the Spirit or light of Christ or happy. We met with our RC later that afternoon, but both of us were feeling awful because we hadn't done much or been effective from the morning to that point in time. But so after our lesson I said ok, I don't want to have a crappy night. I know that we will all have experiences in our lives, but it will always be our choice how we react to them. So we said a prayer together which I offered starting in Chinese but switched to English because I was really needing to fervently pray and plead for help. I don't remember exactly what we did Thursday night, but I remember we worked hard and I had gotten up from that prayer that I was going to have a good night and not let myself feel like crap like the night before. I truly testify that prayer however simple or however small and insignificant you may feel, Heavenly Father will hear and answer your prayers. But so Thursday night was really great. But then Friday turned around again as plan wasn't as specific or well planned as it should.

     So Friday was okish. But I just felt worse and worse as I felt I wasn't a good missionary and wasn't obedient (knowing I could do more, do better, and be more obedient) such as eating to long at meals with RCs or meeting too long with investigators or LAs and feeling that we should be moving on to our next task and using our time to try and find others. I always get the recurring haunting feeling of if there had been someone I could have saved, could have brought unto Christ, but didn't because I wasn't obedient, it will be upon my head. So this progressed into Saturday and I felt just as about as worse and was explaining my situation of not feeling obedient or a good missionary to our RC as he had gone to lunch with us. He talked with me and explained about that I am good and am obedient and that with each companion it will be different. They will have their own weaknesses, own strengths, own gifts.

     But so Saturday there were many blessings given to us (we had 4 lessons, which is a lot to have in 1 day for us in a long time) as well as having a Thanksgiving dinner. A LA in the San Min Ward owns a English class/school and was throwing a thanksgiving dinner and wanted to invite as many missionaries as possible as well. So we had all the missionaries from San Min Ward, Yuan Shan Ward, and Feng Shan Ward (totalling 14 missionaries). It was a great dinner and when we arrived there Elder Anderson and Elder Mckenzie were already there early with another member helping to set things up and get it ready. But so Elder Mckenzie and David (the member) were trying to carve a turkey and some chickens, but they didn't know what to do. So they were just trying to cut at it and such. But so David kept asking if I could do it, but I was a little reluctant because I have never carved a turkey before. Eventually I took the knife though and so I carved a turkey as well as several chickens that we had. And I might say to not brag or anything, but that I did a pretty good job.

     So that night I was still just feeling a bit down because I felt how can Heavenly Father give me all these blessings when I am not a good missionary, not doing my best I could be doing (and knowing I can do better, really, from past experiences), and not feeling like I am an obedient missionary.

     Sunday came and that morning we have about a 25 minute bike ride to church. Elder Chen didn't come out of the shower until about 8:25. So my stress and anxiety went up more. So church ended up being okish as my stress had now just been accumulating more and more and feeling like I wasn't good or obedient at all. I had to go to ward council as well after church and after that one of the members who is a good friend gave me a little note saying she doesn't know how she can help and can see that I am under a lot of pressure and reassuring me that I can do it and Heavenly Father is there and that if I ever need help she will help.

      So after ward council I sought out Elder Barson and talked with him one on one in a classroom sharing just about everything that I have been trying to share and asking for a priesthood blessing. What he shared and said most that struck me was having patience and love. But the blessing truly helped me a lot in relieving some stress and helping me to calm down. I also can truly testify that the Priesthood is real, and when exercised in righteousness and purity can work miracles that bless lives and families. So we went home to eat and do studies. I was ok through that time. but when it got to almost before 6 to leave the door and go out Elder Chen was making some calls to see if we could try and visit some people that night (we didn't have any time much the previous night to plan Sunday because we had come in the door pretty late from a lesson that had started a little late and had gone long).  He ended up talking to for 2 hours (we were still in our apartment and hadn't left yet). I used the beginning part to update some teaching forms. We had set in our plan to go try a visit an LA close by at 8 with a member helping us. We didn't leave out the door until 8:15.We finally left and met up with the member, walked down the street to the LA's house and outside things just kind of exploded. I started explaining and saying everything that I have now told you to the member and feeling that I am not good and not obedient. The member was acting as the peacemaker and mediator, talking to me and explaining about rules and like the rule for keeping lessons under 45 minutes (which several times we haven't done) as well as Elder Chen talking for 2 hours with this guy and how he possibly really needs it. And then just talking about how Elder Chen and I are not the same, I have this great desire and drive to be obedient, and Elder Chen has a lot of love and compassion for people and talking with them to help them.  We went home and Last night we were ok and such and played Chinese Chess to just kind of relax a little and ease up.

     Needless to say this is where I have arrived at today. I honestly don't know how I feel. I already emailed President Blickenstaff with a shorter version of all this. So I will be awaiting to hear from him and his advice and help. Because I just don't know really what to do or what steps to take because I have had too much stress, to much hurt, to much worry in my life right now.

     So sorry that is not much really of spiritual or missionary. I just felt to share what has been going on.

     That would be cool if Real goes to the Championship game. Go Real! I miss going to the games.

     Yes I exercise and I am going to be pushing myself more on it. Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday morning we run. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday we work out at home with the weights that we have. I don't have any more pass offs with leaders with the languages. The next phases are just a whole bunch of flash cards. I have actually been studying Phase 3 a lot which is characters. So I can actually start to read more and more and definitely throughout the day I recognize characters and know them.

     I definitely miss reading and wish I could read out here. Something to look forward to when coming home is LotR and the Oregon Files. I will have to see about Ender's Game when I come home. Wish so bad I could see the Hobbit. Oh well....

     I will try to have next week some more spiritual and meaningful missionary experiences. Right now is just a time of healing and fixing things.

     I will testify and stand this week though as it is Thanksgiving that I am grateful for the Savior. I am grateful for his sacrifice. I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who sent him to atone for my sins and my mistakes. I know that Jesus is the Christ. Our Savior and Redeemer. He knows our sorrows, our pains, and our tribulations. I will always turn to him and be ever indebtted and grateful for his Atonement.

     I love you with all my heart!

Elder Dayley