Dec 23, 2013 - Christmas Testimony

Hi Dad,
     Well as time for emailing is coming to a close and as I will be talking with you in less than 48 hours, I don't really feel or have much to actually say in email this week. I do have photos to share and such. Oh and by the way Allisa within about 5 minutes of opening your package I figured out that you sent me lightsabers (yeah sorry to spoil the whole surprise, I will still be as excited as ever Christmas morning and will whack Elder Chen with them still). Maybe you should just follow Dad's example of writing on the outside of the package when listing contents of just Pens, Snacks, etc. Rather than Toy Plastic Swords. But its all good. As I have learned 好玩就好了

     I feel that as it is Christmas and this week we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ 耶穌基督, I would like to share my testimony.

     I know that Jesus Christ lives. There really is no sweeter sentence than this. Truly as we see His life and what He has done, it has been full of love. Never for His own benefit. Never for His own pleasure. Never for His own gain. Never words of complaint or murmur. Always love, compassion, and selflessness. To build off of last week, after Christ was tempted to turn rocks to bread to satisfy His own hunger, He came to Cana where His first miracle is recorded. While at a marriage feast, His mother was overseeing the providing of food and drink. However, the wine had run out. She turned to Jesus, knowing in part of his supernatural powers, but perchance not fully comprehending them, asked or stated about the wine run out. Jesus's response while may appear harsh, actually has great esteem of respect and love as He says "Woman, what hast though to do with me? My time has not yet come." Woman in the singular aspect during that time actually had an attribute of queenliness as well as women who are blessed with maternity receive the sacred name and honor of mother. But similarly every child has but one woman who is that figure in their lives. There are not many women. It is but one woman. And so it was with Christ. He viewed that the time for Him to perform the miracle of providing wine had not yet come. But when He did change the water to wine, it was not for his own benefit or blessing, but it was for the benefit and blessing of others. Let us strive to emulate the Christ. He is our advocate. He is our Prince of Peace. He is our Shepherd. He has trodden the wine press so that we may not suffer the agonies of our sins and our mistakes. As for me and my future spouse and family, we will always heed the call of the good shepherd and look to Christ in all deed and thought. Truly when we think of Christ there will be no desire to sin or to even hurt those around us. So let us think of Christ not just at this one instance, but everyday and throughout our whole lives!

      I love you all so much! 我愛你們！Can't wait to talk to you in a little bit!

Elder Roo

戴浩恩長老

Dec 16, 2013

Hey Dad!

     That's so weird with Trevor and Christian coming home. Doesn't seem right. And moving up to the second row of pictures.

     Yeah I understand what you mean about having that final push and then being able to relax and ease up a bit. As a missionary I don't think that ever happens. Literally.....

     So I don't know, I read your email and it is touching to see the experiences and the faith of so many good people. But not really much on my mind to respond to any of that. I am actually finding it a little hard to say anything right now with being able to talk to all of you come a week and a half.

     I guess I will start off with saying first, here is a picture of our current cell phone......You want to know why I am sending you a picture of our cell phone? Because this Thursday we get new cell phones! The whole mission! But we don't know what cell phones yet we will be getting. But so yeah we get them this Thursday at our Christmas Activity. Which will be.....at Sun Moon Lake. So our zone needs to be to the utterly Main Train Station at 6 in the morning to get on a bus to ride all the way up pretty much to Puli. So get to get up really early Thursday morning.

     What I feel like sharing on this day is that the mission is like an unending game of Whack-a-Mole. Literally! If you don't believe me then tune in as I expound. It seems that each and every day I find things that are good and truly have remarkable and fun experiences, but at the same time I find each day I make mistakes and as well as problems and issues I discover (mainly about myself) that I struggle over and strive to improve. These are the Moles. The part that stinks the most is that when I have overcome, healed, or fixed (meaning whacked) these moles down, for some reason later on (whether it be a day, week, month, or longer) they then pop up again. So then I have to exert effort in going back to whack that mole again. It gets utterly frustrating and exhausting as these moles keep popping up. Such as yesterday many different moles popped up that attacked my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. Basically, this all just made me feel kind of sick last night when we came home, but I did my best of writing the records I needed to update, folding some laundry, and then just going in on my bed to lay down and rest. I read a few conference talks to bolster my spirit (which kind of helped). But just not feeling all that good (head, stomach, spirit, etc.). Luckily, Elder Chen kept strong in making some calls and trying to set things up and having our plan for tonight, but he was nice and helpful. Got some pain medicine for me as well as my milk to drink with it. 

      I got your letters this past week about love and charity. Maybe I have fallen back some again in not loving myself. I am not sure. I have been reading Jesus the Christ again and I just read today about Jesus Christ's sojourn to the wilderness to commune with God. He fasted 40 days and prayed to subvert the will of His body to His divine spirit so that there may be closer communion with Heavenly Father. Towards the end of this experience, Satan came to tempt and pretty much subvert the Christ. He first tempted Christ to turn stones into bread to feed himself, knowing that Jesus was an hungered due to his much fasting. But the key part of Satan's diabolical plan and temptation was the 'If'. He said "If thou be the Son of God.....". Satan was wanting Christ to doubt his relationship with Heavenly Father. Just prior to this sojourn Jesus Christ had been baptized and had received the witness by the Father's voice that He was the Son of God. But now Satan so quickly was wanting to cause him to doubt. But Jesus thwarted Satan as he replied that man should not live by bread alone, but also by the word of God. Then following (time is not certain, but not of import) Jesus was high in one of the pinnacles of the temple and Satan again came to tempt him. The diabolical one once again in his cunning used the word 'If' striving to cause Jesus to doubt his divinity and relationship. But this time rather than tempting Jesus to trust wholly in himself and his power, he was wanting to tempt Jesus to wantonly trust in the protection of the Father by casting himself down to the ground. Seemingly also as Jesus had used scriptures to rebuke Satan before, Satan had come in this second instance quoting scriptures for his own twisted use. However, Jesus was faithful (even as Satan was hoping to catch Jesus between trusting in the Father by casting himself down or by not causing him to think that He doesn't trust in the Father) and boldly replied "Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God". Meaning Heavenly Father's miracles and help will come according to His will and in His time. They are not to be forced or willed upon by man or for that matter by Jesus Christ. This testified further of the Christ's power, that it isn't His power, but is His Father's power. He was not bestowed with it to satisfy his own pleasures or gratify himself, but to serve and uplift others. Then, of course, there was a third time that Satan came, but I will not go into detail about that due to what I wish to say and time.

      At the end of this ordeal it states that Satan left Jesus for a season. And as we read later on towards the end of the Savior's mortal ministry as He was with his Apostles, He states that "these are they who were with me in my temptations". We see that even the Savior was continually tempted throughout His life. This shows that with temptation, if conquered once, it will not just go away and you are not simply rid of it. It is a continuing battle and struggle that will not end until after the Millenium and Judgement when Satan will be cast out and banished. Oh, how much more need of the Savior is there! Truly we cannot go a day without His help and His strength. Truly I need it so much, especially to heal and fix me. I hope though more sooner than later. I just feel like I am not good sometimes even as I try my best to be good. Maybe I am being ridiculous of myself and too demanding. I just want to be a good person and be pure, clean, virtuous, and chaste. I just don't know if I am. Satan causes me to doubt so much. So I really need to develop my trust more and to trust in the Savior as well as my Priesthood leaders when they declare that I am clean.

     So these are just some of my thoughts. I will see you soon and can't wait to talk to you! Love you lots and lots and lots!

Love,

Elder Roo

Dec 9, 2013

Hey Dad!

     So that is just crazy about the snow. Of course it would dump a ton right before you hand over the responsibility. And of course it happens when your most trusted and faithful elder is half way around the world.

     Darn! That is too bad about Real not winning, but it sounded like one intense game and really fun to watch. I wish so bad that I could watch or enjoy a game once in a while. 

     As for A Christmas Story I had no idea that it is Leonard on the Big Bang Theory. That's crazy! Funny when you find out the little things like this.

      But yeah I emailed Elder Devey, or now Jaren Devey, on his last P-day he would email me and he emailed back (since we are basically in the same time zone). He is such a great man and I will always be grateful for his friendship and love.

     So for calling Kevin, I believe it will be possible. I am going to call President Blickenstaff tonight and talk with him about it. But I mentioned it to Elder Chen and he said it should be ok. So I will call tonight and by next P-day I will have a response about calling Kevin. I really want to call Kevin. I think it would be really good for him.

     So yes as for Christmas call I was meaning to ask today about Skype info (yes I can use Skype to call and talk. I believe I will be using my Ward Mission Leader's computer). I still don't know exactly when. 

     I love the letters that you send, especially when they have cartoons with them (I really like the Star Wars one about the health care insurance). I got your letter this past week about expectations, and it really helped me. I really spent this past week pondering a lot about expectations. I feel that I am step by step coming to terms more and more with really being impervious and clueless to all but my calling, my companion, myself, and those I serve. I really try and remember and live doing my best and enjoying and having fun.

     For your comfort scripture, I think I have mentioned and shared before how I tied this Isaiah scripture with Mosiah 4:27. Truly these are I feel my powerhouse scriptures that build, support, and establish a foundation for me on patience and trust.

     So first a few more down to earth things. First off is Steve Nash now playing for the Lakers?! How old is he now? He has to be hitting a mark where he is too old to keep up with the younger guys, right? But yeah I saw a magazine that had him on the front and he was wearing a Lakers jersey.

     Second is I wish so bad sometimes that my eyes or something had a camera built in, because there are just sometimes things I see that are priceless and wish I could take a picture. This one is that last Tuesday (every Tuesday we do this) we went to English Proselyting which involves us going to and intersection often and handing out English flyers as well as yelling and waving a banner so people know about the free English class we teach. But so right before we start we are in a circle and going to say prayer and such (and I am facing towards the street so I can see across the street) I look across the street and I see a scooter. Do you know what this scooter had??????? This guy had a yellow scooter with Pikachus all over it, and to put a cherry on top you should have seen his helmet. It was a Pikachu helmet as if it was a head. So the helmet had ears as well that came off it and everything. I said this a little out loud and Elder Watson turned around and just about screamed like a little girl and Elder Barson was laughing so hard.

     As well as this past week when we were at a Family Mart sitting inside doing some language study as well as making calls, I was studying my flashcards when all of a sudden a Jack Johnson song came on. I was in heaven. It was really mellow and sweet and nice to listen to (yeah I know I am a missionary, but I love my music). As well as this will make you laugh. You remember in Happy Gilmore when Happy goes ice skating with the girl and then there ends being that chinky romantic song playing all of a sudden (I think it is called Endless Love), that as well came on while we were sitting in the Family Mart. That just made me laugh a lot that that would play.

     So over this past week I have learned a few things. First is that even after we repent and such we have to still deal with the consequences. So this is why I right now strongly implore, plead, and beg all parents everywhere to protect your children and grandchildren from any form of pornography. Because as destructive as it is in the moment, as Elder Holland stated (and of course altered a bit to my use) it blasts a crater in your mind. Even though I have worked hard as ever to climb out of the pit I put myself in for the past 5 years, I am still having to deal with the consequences that come from my actions and working continuously to repair the crater I blasted in there. This became apparent to me throughout this past week as I received your letter about expectations and I really sat down to ponder and somethings bothering and troubling me as I really looked inward to tell myself and figure out that this is my mission, and how I want to serve and do my best as well as enjoy my time. That is when then Satan struck hard as ever in thrusting temptations at me and recalling many bad memories to mind (or because for many years I poisoned my mind that I feel it has corrupted my thinking sometimes that a normal person wouldn't have as much impure thoughts immediately come to mind). Saturday and Sunday became very difficult days as I continually kept doing that which I have been taught and understand and know to strengthen me and protect me. But I felt as Satan had come with his storms and whirlwinds that I was simply not moving anywhere but just clinging and hoping to not fall backwards. I had continued to study, to pray, to serve, to teach and everything but I felt like my mind was a mess still so much as I was battling every minute sometimes in thrusting out impure thoughts and putting good thoughts in (the thing I hate most which I think comes as a consequence of many years being addicted to pornography is that how the stupidest or littlest or even sometimes pure things my mind can take and immediately produce out an impure and disgusting thought). I ceaselessly have been dropping to my knees, pleading for help and truly going out and trying to do my best and thinking of others. But so this carried on today when this morning Elder Chen and I came to companion study. He was humming a song and asked which hymn it was (Christmas of course). It was "O Holy Night" and so I told him what it was but I didn't remember if it was a hymn or not. So we were looking in the back and he was looking under the section that is first lines to hymns and came across the first line for Joseph Smith's First Prayer. He didn't know it was that and said the number out. So I turned to it and told him what it was. He was like "oh, ha ha, I didn't know it was that". But I said we could sing it. We sang it and it just was a blessing to me from us singing that hymn. After we sang I pulled out my scriptures and read through Joseph Smith's account again from when he prayed. As missionaries we never teach about that Satan came during that experience. But as the second verse says of the hymn Joseph trusted in the Lord. And as his account states when he went to do what was right and what he had learned to do Satan immediately came and seized upon him to silence him and strangle him. But Joseph recounts as he exerted all effort to call upon God and as he felt his life was gone and would be swallowed up by this unseen figure, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ came. Right when he felt that all was lost and he would die, the Lord came. This renewed hope within me and vigor to push onward trusting and knowing that no matter what the Lord will come and he will triumph. I still have so much to learn, grow, and develop and definitely my patience. I just pray fervently and wish intently that sooner than later my mind can be almost fully mended (I say almost because I know throughout my whole life I will have temptations of immorality, but I wish that I can not have to fret, worry, or work so unceasingly hard to just handle combating my mind who so readily and easily creates impure thoughts or recalls impure memories). I realize as well and remember that it comes to a matter as well to just not give the impure thoughts heed or to think oh no an impure thought and freak out. But to simply and calmly thrust the rascal out and replace it. It just sometimes becomes extremely difficult when feeling that I have been doing it all day and working hard as ever but they just seem to keep coming back with ferocity and not easing up. Today though gave me renewed hope and I wish to build off this and not slide back or weaken.

    So as for the bigger of the news, I will be in Fengshan another move call (this will be my 4th move call and at the end of it will have been a 1/4th of my time on the island of Taiwan). And as well I will be with Elder Chen for another move call (so we get to spend Christmas and New Years together, but I don't know where I will be for Chinese New Years which is just going to be crazy!)

     I love you so much and miss you always!

Elder Roo